Archive for April 19, 2008

RETURN FROM THE MAN-EATING DUCT TAPE!!!

RETURN FROM THE MAN-EATING DUCT TAPE. *gasps for air*. this *gasp* is *gasp* the *gasp* story *gasp* of *gasp* why *gasp* i *gasp* was *gasp* gone! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*!!!!!

ok. *gasp*. so i was walkin down the street. just mindin my own busness. not hurtin anybody. just takin a stroll and lookin cool. *winks and does that freeky finger point thingy to some random kid on the street*. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN…

KABAM!!! KACRASH!!! KABOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

out of nowhere, this gigantic roll of flying duct tape the size of montana just flys out of nowhere and smacks me in the head!!!

its all a blurr after that. until (what i later was told was 16 days later) i woke up in a dark alley. yes. A DARK ALLEY. and. surrounding me, were exactly 72 (never a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolles of duct tape! i used to LIKE duct tape! i thought duct tape was my FRIEND!!! but i guess i was RONG!!! for all of a sudden, i was SWARMED!!! i was so confuzzled! wich ways up?! which ways down?! WHERES THE NEAREST BATHROOM!?!??!!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????

i was thrown upsidedown, sideways and threw a loop-de-loop. i was twisted and turned and smacked on the cheek! IT WAS MADNESS I TELLS YA! MADNESS!!!

before i new it, i was strapped to the wall. there was no way i was possibly gonna EVER get down. there had to be at leas 60 (still never a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolls worth of duct tape strapping me down to the wall! i looked to my left. i looked to my rite. yes. there were only 12 (still not a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolls of duct tape left. standing before me. watching with weary eyes. weary? i thot to myself. why the heck wood these…MONSTERS be WEARY of ME?!?!? when i was clearly not going anywhere anytime soon.

then i realized they were holding (yes. holding. dont ask me how) candles. the air was thick with the scent and taste of the candles. i opened my mouth. “tastes like…vanilla”, i said allowed. the duct tapes started murmering to each other. (again. i have no idea how that is possible). then i soaked in my surroundings. i looked down, and saw about 39 million (always a good sign) pictures of me. ME?! yes. me. along with *counts candles using photographic memory* 52 (again, a good sign) candles.

my brain slowly processed the information… “A SHRINE!!!?!?!?!?????!?!?! FOR ME?!?!?!? OH YOU SHOODNT HAVE!!!” the duct tapes nodded (by this time i was used to the freekyness of it all). and then they cut me down. this task alone took them an additional 22 days. (lots of duct tape. im sure if you have ever messed with duct tape, im sure you wood understand).

all the while they fed me these odd greyish (yet good) grapes that had an odd (but good) duct tapeish flavoring to them.

overall, it was an adventure i will never forget. but now i am back, safe, and i will post the continuation of…whatever the heck i last rote soon….or when i get around to it…what was it anyways? EXTRAS? … yeah. i’ll keep riting EXTRAS…when i get around to it…

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😐

Advertisements