Archive for April, 2008

ITS ALL WILLY WONKA’S FAULT!

ITS ALL WILLY WONKA’S FAULT!!!

earlier, on another blog, i reported:

“UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Robot-la!!!!!!! im in trouble!!! cant go to UW!!! i hope you can find somebody else to go. sucks much! i was craving chocoalate! its not my fault! its all HER fault! im completely innocent!!!”

then Vicky-la asked “what not HER fault. who is HER?” so here is my answer:

HER is my evil little sister. ya se…

my mom had a PTA meeting, so she left at 7. at 7:05 i started craving chocolate cuz we were watching Willy Wonka and it was the scene where everythings made out of chocolate rite? so i go to the freezer and get out the chocolate ice cream. then my sis (im gonna call her Cheesecake, her nikname, just in case of stalkers) Cheesecake was all like “you cant have any ice cream! i asked mom before she left!” so i go to call and ask. but she left her phone there.

i thot about it for a second, and decided i didnt really give a cow. so i walk towards the freezer and my sister starts pushing me and elbowing me and cauzing pain to my very existence, all to just prevent me from getting ice cream. she was screaming of course, and i was screaming back. of course. stupid i no, but her screaming and shoving just made me want that chocolate ice cream that much more.

she said “MOM SAID NOOOOO!!!!”””””””””

so i took a thot for a second, and shot her one of my favorite death glares and said “look. im gonna eat some ice cream, your gonna watch me do it, and if i get in trouble, i get in trouble and your not. gonna. care.”

she looked wary for a jiffy, and then she let go and stepped back, defeated. by then i had realized that the back door was open, my dad was out there working, and he no doubt herd us. i shrugged it off, noing i was gonna get it.

but i had just gone threw all that trouble, so i was gonna eat that dang ice cream. i got it out of the freezer, still glaring, but it was one of my other favorite ones. i took the biggest spoonful i cood manage without having it fall off, and shoved most of it into my mouth, my sister giving me a disgusted look.

of course, noing my sister, i cood see that other look she was secretly giving me beneath the disgusted surface: your gonna get it.

then my dad walked in the door. he asked what was going on and S–i mean Cheesecake gladly told him the story. then he asked me “is that true?” even tho we both new it was. she (of course) gladly left out her violent attempt at keeping me away from the ice cream, but i didnt really care. telling him wood just make things worse.

so he said i was grounded. and now i am. of all weekends. i was quite puzzled when he said “your grounded this weekend”. this WEEKEND?!?!?! what the heck dad! youv lost your edge! he never usually settles for anything less than a month! not only that, but ive never actually heard him say the word “grounded” before. he always uses the term “on restriction”. usually ether from computer, tv, or friends. but never just plain “grounded”.

i figured the lame four word punishment was due to the fact that he new how much i wanted to hang out with Robot-la this weekend. and he really likes Robot-la. he referres to her as “the cute one”. so he probably didnt want to keep me from hanging out with her for more than that. considering we hardly ever hang out. plus, he’s been wanting me to have her over. she’s his fav of my friends. its so pathetic. kinda like Charlie and Alice i spose.

so thats why im “grounded” (such a strange punishment) this weekend. and thats whose fault it is.

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 8)

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RETURN FROM THE MAN-EATING DUCT TAPE!!!

RETURN FROM THE MAN-EATING DUCT TAPE. *gasps for air*. this *gasp* is *gasp* the *gasp* story *gasp* of *gasp* why *gasp* i *gasp* was *gasp* gone! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*!!!!!

ok. *gasp*. so i was walkin down the street. just mindin my own busness. not hurtin anybody. just takin a stroll and lookin cool. *winks and does that freeky finger point thingy to some random kid on the street*. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN…

KABAM!!! KACRASH!!! KABOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

out of nowhere, this gigantic roll of flying duct tape the size of montana just flys out of nowhere and smacks me in the head!!!

its all a blurr after that. until (what i later was told was 16 days later) i woke up in a dark alley. yes. A DARK ALLEY. and. surrounding me, were exactly 72 (never a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolles of duct tape! i used to LIKE duct tape! i thought duct tape was my FRIEND!!! but i guess i was RONG!!! for all of a sudden, i was SWARMED!!! i was so confuzzled! wich ways up?! which ways down?! WHERES THE NEAREST BATHROOM!?!??!!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????

i was thrown upsidedown, sideways and threw a loop-de-loop. i was twisted and turned and smacked on the cheek! IT WAS MADNESS I TELLS YA! MADNESS!!!

before i new it, i was strapped to the wall. there was no way i was possibly gonna EVER get down. there had to be at leas 60 (still never a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolls worth of duct tape strapping me down to the wall! i looked to my left. i looked to my rite. yes. there were only 12 (still not a good sign) gigantic montana-sized rolls of duct tape left. standing before me. watching with weary eyes. weary? i thot to myself. why the heck wood these…MONSTERS be WEARY of ME?!?!? when i was clearly not going anywhere anytime soon.

then i realized they were holding (yes. holding. dont ask me how) candles. the air was thick with the scent and taste of the candles. i opened my mouth. “tastes like…vanilla”, i said allowed. the duct tapes started murmering to each other. (again. i have no idea how that is possible). then i soaked in my surroundings. i looked down, and saw about 39 million (always a good sign) pictures of me. ME?! yes. me. along with *counts candles using photographic memory* 52 (again, a good sign) candles.

my brain slowly processed the information… “A SHRINE!!!?!?!?!?????!?!?! FOR ME?!?!?!? OH YOU SHOODNT HAVE!!!” the duct tapes nodded (by this time i was used to the freekyness of it all). and then they cut me down. this task alone took them an additional 22 days. (lots of duct tape. im sure if you have ever messed with duct tape, im sure you wood understand).

all the while they fed me these odd greyish (yet good) grapes that had an odd (but good) duct tapeish flavoring to them.

overall, it was an adventure i will never forget. but now i am back, safe, and i will post the continuation of…whatever the heck i last rote soon….or when i get around to it…what was it anyways? EXTRAS? … yeah. i’ll keep riting EXTRAS…when i get around to it…

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😐

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